A non-Christmas Christmas show

It seems that every sitcom is required to do their annual Christmas episode. For ALMOST PERFECT in the first season, we decided to be different and basically refer to it just in passing.  There is a brief discussion about what everyone will be doing for the holidays, and decorations are up everywhere, but otherwise, it's just business at usual.  So to help you get into (or out of) the holiday spirit, here's the "Risky Christmas" episode of ALMOST PERFECT.   Written by Drew Vaupen & Phil Baker and directed by FRASIER'S David Lee.  And as always, since I don't know how to digitally edit, whiz through the first 20 seconds to get to the show. Yeah, I know.  I should learn already.

Ron Santo

How can someone have heart problems, diabetes, several amputations, bladder cancer, and worse, be a lifelong Cubs fan, and still be the cheeriest person you’ve ever met? That was Ron Santo, and that was his gift. Ron passed away on Thursday. He was 70. The man who lived under the darkest cloud provided the most sunshine for everyone else.

Older readers remember Santo as a Hall of Fame-worthy Cubs’ third baseman. The fact that he’s not in the Hall-of-Fame is yet another injustice he endured with dignity and good cheer.

But more people know him as the Chicago Cubs radio analyst on WGN along with superb partner, Pat Hughes. Ron’s analysis was unique to say the least. Some examples:

Ron: “Ohhhhh no!!!!!”

Ron: “Yeah, baby… yeah baby… YEAH!!!!”

He broke down the game with his heart, as well as his eyes. And the genuine passion he had for the game and the team and the fans made his broadcasts not just informative but special.

He mangled the language but so what? I was listening a couple of months ago and he described a certain catcher as having a “mind like a cannon”. The point is, you knew what he meant. Most of the time.

His banter with partner Pat was pure Abbott & Costello. And then every so often he would make an observation and you’d go, “Whoa! I’ve been following baseball my whole life and I didn’t know that”.

He was always great fun to talk to. And our discussions always got around to his son Jeff, who is a filmmaker. Ron would go on and on about his son, so proud. I remember thinking -- this is how every kid wishes his father would think of him.

His number 10 has been retired. Cub fans will see that at Wrigley Field and be reminded of Ron. They’ll also be reminded of Ron whenever they hear someone laugh, or see someone be kind to someone else.

Ron Santo has died. But he has lived and died with the Cubs his whole life. So dying is nothing new for him. And like all Cub fans know, there’s always a “next year”. Happy New Year, Ron.

Directing FRASIER

Aloha from Hawaii, where I never stand down from my “Friday Question” watch. Anything you want to know? Leave your question in the comments section. Mahalo.

Katherine gets us started.

Ken, I was wondering if you could give us a full account of what it was like directing an episode of Frasier. You'd written a lot of episodes for the show, but how was that different (or similar) to directing one? Were the actors welcoming to a first time director for their show, or were they already at the point where they knew their characters well enough and didn't feel like they needed suggestions? And last, as a huge fan of David Hyde Pierce, I'd love to know what it was like working with/directing him.

Directing FRASIER was like getting behind the wheel of a Porsche. You had the best actors, writers, and crew in Hollywood. As long as you didn’t have the cameras pointing at the audience instead of the actors, you were pretty much assured of a good show.

Since I had written and consulted on the show for years, the cast and crew knew me very well the first day I stepped onto the stage to direct. I had also directed a number of episodes elsewhere by that time, so the actors didn’t feel like I was a novice.

I always consider my first task on any show I direct is to make the actors feel comfortable; let them know that they’re in good hands (or at least let them think they are). Familiarity and experience come in real handy in that regard.

And of course, I’ve known Kelsey since his first day on CHEERS.

On the other hand, there have been shows where the cast didn’t know me going in. I had to win their trust. Tony winning director, Jerry Zaks, once gave me a great piece of advice. “To win over an actor, lead him to a joke”. Again, it’s all about confidence and trust.

My first day directing DHARMA & GREG, Susan Sullivan just took me aside and said, “So just who the hell are you, and what have you done?” I listed my credits, she nodded, and we were good after that.

The cast I really owe a huge debt to is the one from WINGS. Even though they knew me, too, they had to endure my first directing assignment. Remember all that stuff I said about instilling confidence in actors? That is hard to accomplish when you have no fucking idea what you’re doing. They were incredibly patient and supportive.

By the time I got to FRASIER I knew the difference between “Action!” and “Cut!”

The key to directing FRASIER was being prepared. I was organized, knew how I wanted to block the scenes. And since everyone in the FRASIER cast was so professional and knew their characters so well, shows came together very easily and efficiently. The fun was finding bits of business to add. And I had the luxury of being able to do that since my time wasn’t spent talking actors out of their trailers.

When things didn’t work, the writers fixed them. When things did work, they improved them.

I’ve said this before, but of all the comic actors I’ve ever worked with – and I’ve been blessed to have worked with some of the very best – the all-time greatest was David Hyde Pierce. I could start really gushing here so I’ll hold back. But suffice it to say, I’ve never worked with anyone who had such amazing instincts, and at the same time was as nice and collaborative as David. I put DHP up there in the Chaplin/Laurel & Hardy/Buster Keaton/Peter Sellers category.

rob! asks:

Sometimes sitcoms/movies have pay-offs to a joke that involve someone being revealed as unattractive/fat/ugly, etc. I can't think of an example at the moment but I know I've seen them lots of times.


My question is, how do producers gently cast those parts? Do they give their casting people specific instructions? OR does someone make a call and just say "Round up the ugly suspects?"

There are breakdown sheets that go out to agents and managers. Casting directors try to be diplomatic in describing the purpose of the role. Yes, it could be viewed as insensitive, but hey, there have been actors who have made a good living playing ugly. Just ask Lon Chaney… and Lon Chaney Jr.

And finally, from Lou H:

How did you handle recurring characters like Paul on CHEERS who had a part every 2 to 4 shows? Is it more "Hey, there are some lines this week that Paul would be the best fit for, let's see if he's available, otherwise give the lines to someone else" or did you first find out his schedule and then write him in as often as you could reasonably do so?

Paul is Paul Willson, who is a terrific comic actor, bravura improv artist, and a decent violinist. We tried to find things for Paul because he always scored. If we had lines for him one week and he wasn’t available we either gave the lines to someone else or saved the bit until he was back.

I always felt bad. Paul finally got an episode in which he was very prominent. It’s the kind of episode that helps launch a character from recurring to regular. Unfortunately, it was the last episode of CHEERS ever filmed. But he was great in it!

What was in the envelope

For those who read my Patty Hearst kidnapping story and wondered just what was in the damn envelope, I can't say for sure but seem to recall it was a demand for free food distribution in the bay area.   Yes, they were terrorists and kidnappers and bank robbers, but maybe, just maybe, they heard me play "Begger's Banquet" and it melted their hearts. 

My role in the Patty Hearst kidnapping

Before I became a writer I traveled around the country like a nomad “spinning biscuits” as a Top 40 D.J. Here’s another incident from those heady and ridiculous times.

It was 1974. I was working at KYA, San Francisco. KFRC was the big station then. Throughout my disc jockey career I always worked at the “other” place. There would be a powerhouse number one station like KHJ, KFRC, and CKLW in town, and I was always hired by K100, KYA, and WDRQ.

But KYA was a great station. We had a terrific program director, Bob Whitney, who believed in freedom and fun on the radio. That made us unique… at times amazing, and at other times, uh, well... strange. Our afternoon jock called himself Jimmy Jet and had a chipmunk-voiced sidekick named Wonder Wings. He also had all these airplane whooshes (the same sound Rocky the Flying Squirrel made whenever he took off) and would play them constantly over records. He was a lovely guy but yikes!  (Jimmy is now a commercial pilot, UFO investigator-journalist.  I'm not making this up.) 

Anyway, I was on from 10 P.M. to 2 A.M. I didn’t have any “whooshes” but I was pretty out there. I also had to read the news at 1:30. The name I was using was Beaver Cleaver, but I couldn’t call myself that during a newscast. At the time there was a late night program on NBC called THE TOMORROW SHOW. Host Tom Snyder would interview a different guest from 1:00-2:00 AM. Whoever his guest was, that was the name I chose for that night. So one night astronaut Neil Armstrong would report KYA news and next night it was Helen Reddy.

I used to take phone requests from listeners.  Hey, I was bored. One night I got a call from someone who identified himself as a member of the SLA.

Patricia Hearst, the granddaughter of publishing magnate William Randolph Hearst and great-granddaughter of millionaire George Hearst had recently been kidnapped in the bay area by a radical group that called themselves the SLA (Symbionese Liberation Army). This was the big story of the day. Back then heiresses had to get kidnapped to receive notoriety. They couldn’t just make sex tapes like today.

The SLA made their ransom demands through envelopes left in public places.

I guess they were fans of the show. I was told there was an envelope at the station’s front door. Before I could ask if he would say, "Hi, we're the SLA and KYA is our favorite radio station!" he hung up. 

I was a little freaked out I must admit. I wasn't used to actual listeners. I went to the front door and sure enough, there was a manila envelope. I called the station manager (who just LOVED being woken up at 1:00 AM) and he said he would handle it.

I should have called the program director, Bob Whitney.  He would have snapped into action and turned this moment into a contest.  "Guess what's in the SLA envelope and win tickets to the Lou Reed concert!"

So I go back to doing my show as if nothing happened. Five minutes later a hundred FBI agents storm into the building. My engineer was really peeved. He was very overweight and liked to work with his pants off.  Imagine how pleasant that was for me sitting across from him all night.   Now he had to wear his trousers.  I suspect a union grievance was filed.

Normally, the station is empty in the middle of the night.  But now there are agents, sniffing dogs, and SWAT team guys. I’m being interrogated between records.  "What did he sound like?  What exactly did he say?  Did you hear anything in the background?"   I have to excuse myself every three minutes to introduce the next KYA People Power hit and read the Gensler Lee Diamond spot. Just another night at the radio station.

Now an FBI agent begins manning the listener lines, hoping maybe the SLA will call back and request “Billy, Don’t Be a Hero”. So imagine Tim Kang from THE MENTALIST cross-examining and scaring the shit out of all the little teenyboppers just calling in to hear their favorite Donny Osmond song.

I finally signed off by saying, “Hey, I had a great time tonight! Would like to thank everyone listening in their homes and cars and hideouts. See you tomorrow night. Rock on! Be cool! And please don’t shoot anybody!”

I never heard from them again. If I ever actually meet Patty Hearst, or if perhaps she reads this blog, there's something I've always wanted to know.  Since the SLA obviously listened to KYA, why didn't they also kidnap Jimmy Jet?

You've got to read this Spiderman review

The Spiderman musical opened for previews this week on Broadway after many postponements, several injuries, and millions of dollars up in smoke.

Here's the New York Post's account of opening night.  

I was laughing out loud.  It wasn't schadenfreude because I don't know any of the people involved and harbor no one ill will.   I think the fact that this was real, not a NOISES OFF "created" train wreck just makes this account of an opening-night-epic-flop an instant classic.

Leslie Nielsen jokes? Already?

A few odds and ends today…

Thank you all for the nice comments on my 5th anniversary post.  Look, I'm blushing. 

Wow. I guess the moratorium on Leslie Nielsen jokes is over. This is how the Connecticut Post announced his passing. Check out the box with Nielson’s picture and read the caption. A little too soon, don’tcha think?

In case you can't read the fine print:  Nielsen died in a Florida hospital.  It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.  

Here’s the quote of the year: Disney’s animated feature TANGLED did great last weekend at the boxoffice, and has also received raves from the audience. While taking bows for the higher-than-expected first weekend tally, Chuck Vane, the President of Disney distribution said, “Luckily we had a tool that worked really well for advertising, which is the film itself.” Really?! That must make your job sooo much easier when the movie you’re telling everyone is so great really isn’t a hot steaming piece of shit after all. Once the goal was to produce quality movies that everyone involved could be proud of. Now the aim is to produce useful “tools”.

James Franco and Anne Hathaway are hosting this year’s Oscars. Neither is particularly funny or charismatic. But that’s not important. They’re young. If Justin Beiber didn’t have a homework assignment due the next day, he would have been hosting. Don’t expect Jack Nicholson to get a lot of screen time this year.  Especially if Miley Cyrus is there.

The first season of SHERLOCK is now out on DVD. All three episodes are included!

Get ready for all the perennial Christmas specials and reruns. It’s December, the Netflix time of the year.

Having fun trading tweets with John Hodgman over on Twitter.  He wants to play Radar if they ever re-boot MASH.  I've assured him a role as a Korean.  He's accepted.  He'll need to bring his own kimshee pot however.  

The Rock is over as an action star. You can’t come back from THE TOOTH FAIRY.

If TV comedy is dead, then how come reruns of CBS' Monday night sitcoms beat original programming on all the other networks?  

The Black Eyed Peas will perform at next year’s Super Bowl. What? They couldn't find another boomer act? Gerry & the Pacemakers are still touring.

Heading off today to Maui for a few weeks. I’ll continue to post daily on the blog, but I warn you, I might be a little too cheerful sometimes.  Aloha.