Fall Movie Preview - Part two

Here's the concluding half of my annual Fall Movie Preview. Part one was yesterday.

LOVE AND OTHER DRUGS –Anne Hathaway and Jake Gyllenhaal. Jake plays a Viagra salesman. If the movie lasts longer than four hours consult your physician.

RED – Adapted from a graphic novel. League of Justice with AARP members. Helen Mirren as an action hero? This I gotta see. Boxoffice prospects dim since every paying customer is getting the senior discount.

SECRETARIAT – Triple Crown thoroughbred of the 70s. Stars Diane Lane. She played against Richard Gere, she can easily play against a horse.

JACKASS 3D – It's like they're throwing the darts in your face! The best movie ever!!

THE KING’S SPEECH – If the buzz is right Colin Firth will win Best Actor this Oscar season. He’s even better in this than his second sex tape.

NOWHERE BOY – Story of John Lennon in the 50s. He deals with his dysfunctional mother. It might explain Yoko Ono.

MORNING GLORY – Diane Keaton and Harrison Ford as morning news anchors who hate each other. This tired premise has been around since Keaton and Ford were ingénues – so at least a hundred years. The 8 PM showing will have five people in the theater. The 11 AM showing will be packed.

MEGAMIND – Superhero animated movie with the voices of Will Ferrell and Tina Fey. Megamind looks like a blue Bruce Willis with a swelled head (which was his head until HUDSON HAWK).

TRON: LEGACY -- the second sequel to TRON. The first was the Aha music video.

DUE DATE – Zach Galifianakis and Robert Downey Jr. in a buddy road trip comedy. Before you gag, just know it was directed by Todd Phillips (THE HANGOVER). Then gag.

HEREAFTER – Chick flick directed by Clint Eastwood. Matt Damon is a psychic who can communicate with the dead. You can see why women would be attracted to this subject matter.

TANGLED – Disney 3D CG-animated version of Rapunzel. Can’t be better than the Fractured Fairy Tales version on the Bullwinkle Show.

THE NEXT THREE DAYS – Russell Crowe plans a prison escape for his wife, played by Elizabeth Banks. Isn’t it always the way? Hubby just wants to kick back and watch the game but no, wifey has a to-do list.

NEVER LET GO – Carey Mulligan and Keira Knightley. A sci-fi human drama. I don’t know what will scare off the Comic-con crowd more – human drama or two pretty girls.

FASTER – The Rock has decided to relinquish his title of King of Screen Comedies to return to the action genre. This leaves a huge void. Even fake vomit doesn't seem so funny anymore.

FAIR GAME – Naomi Watts as a CIA agent blows the whistle on Bush’s “weapons of mass destruction” lie. I know it’s taking creative license but to me the satisfying ending of this movie would be Bush getting impeached.

UNSTOPPABLE – Denzel Washington as a crazed villain who rigs a runaway train with toxic chemicals and points it at a big city. Yawn. 24 only did this eight times.

HOW DO YOU KNOW – James L. Brooks’ romantic comedy starring Reese Witherspoon, Paul Rudd, and Jack Nicholson. Two people have a blind date on the worst day of their lives. When he’s on his game no one is better than Brooks. Please let this be another BROADCAST NEWS and not SPANGLISH.

TRUE GRIT – On first glance, just a remake of the John Wayne film. But the Coen Brothers are doing it. Stars Jeff Bridges. The Dude becomes the Duke.

THE TEMPEST – Helen Mirren stars in this classic Shakespeare play. William Shakespeare gets sole screenplay credit. The Bard doesn’t have to share it with Babaloo Mandell.

LITTLE FOCKERS – Second sequel to MEET THE PARENTS. If the trailer is any indication, this could be the worst movie of the year. Maybe ten.

SOMEWHERE – Sofia Coppola returns to the only thing she can do well, a LOST IN TRANSLATION clone. Original title was TRANSLATION AND MISDEMEANORS.

COUNTRY STRONG – Gwyneth Paltrow takes time out from instructing people on how to give enemas to play a washed-up country singer. Hey, it worked for Jeff Bridges.

CONVICTION – Hilary Swank in the true-life story of Betty Ann Walters. What more do you need to know?

BLACK SWAN – A psychological thriller set in the rough world of the ballet.

Fall Movie Preview - Part one

Before you go to the neighborhood Cineplex or even waste your time watching trailers on line, here is my annual comprehensive Fall Movie Preview. The only thing I haven't done is seen any of these movies.

HARRY POTTER (AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS – PART 1) This long running franchise will soon be coming to an end since Daniel Radcliffe who plays Harry could soon play Dumbledore.

WALL STREET: MONEY NEVER SLEEPS – Director Oliver Stone said, “The fact that the financial crisis happened helped get this movie made”. So feel good about losing your life savings. Hollywood benefits!

127 HOURS – Directed by Danny Boyle so I’m seeing it even though it’s about a mountain climber who cuts off his own arm to free himself from a boulder. Then Richard Kimble tries to find him because he saw him kill his wife but no one believes him and… oh wait, that’s THE FUGITIVE.

BURLESQUE – Cher owns a burlesque club. “La Cage aux Facelift”.

THE TOWN – Ben Affleck stars and directs this Boston thriller. GOOD WILL HUNTING with guns and scary masks.

YOU AGAIN – High school rivals, both mothers and daughters reunite for formula studio mayhem. Betty White took time out from being in everything else to be in this.

EASY A – Teen comedy with snappy dialogue. Getting good buzz. MEAN GIRLS meets JUNO.

THE SOCIAL NETWORK – Even snappier dialogue because Aaron Sorkin wrote the screenplay. It’s the story of Facebook. Who invented it, the lawsuits. I hope it also explains how I can block people from sending me invitations. And then have them killed.

YOU’LL MEET A TALL DARK STRANGER – Woody Allen’s 746th attempt at the same movie. He's truly become the Octomom of Cinema.

WAITING FOR SUPERMAN – Documentary on public education. The Comic-con crowd is going to be really pissed about ten minutes into this movie, especially after spending allowance they could have used for Transformer accessories.

GULLIVER’S TRAVELS – The Jonathan Swift classic set in contemporary times with Jack Black. The Lilliputians aren’t terrified that they encounter a giant. It’s that it’s Jack Black.

RESIDENT EVIL: AFTERLIFE – If 3D makes people more lifelike, does it make zombies more lifeless? That’s what we’ll find out when Milla Jovovich wrassels ‘em.

LIFE AS WE KNOW IT – Hi-concept formula romcom starring formula actress Katherine Heigl and Josh Duhamel. They hate each other. But have to raise a baby together. What do you think happens? Did you say an hour of poopy jokes and then they fall in love? You’ve just saved yourself twelve dollars.

LET ME IN – Remake of Swedish cult vampire hit. Fans are outraged. Without the Volvos, what’s the point?

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2 – Anticipating this might become a franchise the studio early on wisely signed all the ghosts to three sequels.

THE COMPANY MEN – Ben Affleck as workaholic who gets fired and must work for less pay. The heartbreak of financial ruin directed by billionaire John Wells.

The Fall Movie Preview concludes tomorrow.

The sitcom Pepsi Challenge

This is something new – a cross-blog debate. Answering a Friday question once I mentioned that single-camera sitcoms seemed to move quicker than multi-camera shows. Earl Pomerantz, in his excellent blog, disagrees. Here’s his full article, well worth reading.

I agree with just about every point Earl makes except the conclusion.

Here’s what Earl said:

When I watch The Office, or Community, or 30 Rock, or Modern Family, I find myself invariably glancing at the clock, amazed at how much time there is still left in the show. To me, these shows are excruciatingly slow.

On the other hand, a well-crafted multi-camera show, skillfully blending story and jokes, seemed to be over before I knew it. I’m speaking of the old multi-camera series, grounded in story and character, not today’s versions, which eschew story and rely almost entirely on jokes.

I completely agree that better story telling will make for a better more compelling show. Earl goes on in another post to cite a great example, a multi-camera episode he wrote for THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW. Not just great. Award winning great.

But it’s an unfair comparison. I don’t think you can pit a classic multi-camera episode up against a COMMUNITY. Different styles, different eras, catering to different audiences.

For a more accurate test, what if the opponent was an equally classic episode of MASH? (By classic I mean Larry Gelbart, not us.)

But having written MASH I can tell you, we packed as much into each episode as was humanly possible. That was the format established by Larry and Gene Reynolds. We had from two to four plots going in each episode. The dialogue was a stylized banter that when it worked was just crackling. We strove to get emotion, drama, comedy, silliness, pathos, scope – anything we could find – into the show.

Which show would you prefer if you took the Pepsi Challenge of quality? That depends on personal taste. To me, THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW was the pinnacle of comedy writing. To write one was my ultimate goal. But I know writers of THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW who felt the same about MASH. Still, I feel it’s fair to say MASH moved quicker.

My partner David teaches sitcom writing at USC. He was surprised to learn in one of his classes that many of the young students had never seen CHEERS. So he assigned the class the first season to watch. (I contend the first season was the best). A lot of the students were not overly impressed with it. Why? It moved too slowly.

I think Earl and I would agree that too much importance is placed on pace today. The audience is used to it, they have unlimited other choices, and in general we’ve become a society that can no longer tolerate being bored even for a minute. Where as story telling used to be the master we served, now it’s speed. So showrunners will employ visual techniques, rapid-fire scenes, and a barrage of jokes. Sometimes it’s at the expense of story, character, or genuine emotion.

But it doesn’t have to be. Again, personal taste but I think MODERN FAMILY does a great job of mounting a zippy show with a lot of humor and depth.

Now, let me pose another question. Can a show be too fast-paced for its own good? I mean, that’s where we’re heading, right? My answer is yes. ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT jammed so much into each half-hour that I think it wore out a good portion of the audience. The material itself was hilarious and sometimes inspired but it was just so dense. Audiences need to catch their breath. So I caution show creators: speed can kill.

Who knows? Someone may come along with a sitcom that goes back to the pace of THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW and viewers hail it as “groundbreaking”, “daring”, “unprecedented”. And the number of cameras won’t matter.

What do you guys think?

Equal time: What actors hate

Last week I talked about writer pet peeves when it comes to getting notes, focusing in one section on bad actor behavior. Well today, in the spirit of fairness, here are some things actors hate. Writers take note.

Actors hate having to give exposition. It’s dry, it’s informational, it’s not fun. Unfortunately, SOMEONE has deliver the exposition. The trick is to spread it around, find ways to hide it, and make it entertaining. Necessary information woven into a joke is a great solution. Exposition itself is a great topic for a later post.

Actors don’t like just asking questions in a scene. They didn’t spend four years finding their “inner center”, “emotional truth triggers” and portraying ice cream cones just to ask questions. But sometimes there is a great temptation to do that. Actor “A” knows all this information, Actor “B” needs to know it. In real life, it’s a simple conversation of Q&A. Not in actor-life. Massage the scene so that Actor “B” has some jokes or comments, or Actor “A” shares information without being prompted.

Similarly, actors don’t like just doing set-ups for other actors’ jokes. Bud Abbott is dead. Spread around the wealth. The tough thing here is knowing Actor “A” is funny and Actor “B” is a lox. Still, you have to throw him a bone or two. Or work in some jokes in the set ups themselves. Or re-cast.

Here’s a common rookie mistake: Having an actor in a scene and not giving him a line for a page or two…or four. If he’s in the scene he needs to have a purpose and needs to be a participant. If he has no purpose, find a way to get his ass out of there. You’d think actors want as much screen time as possible but they would MUCH rather be out of a scene than be a piece of furniture in it.

Here’s a biggie: parentheticals – those little bracketed indicators that suggest the intent of the line. Most actors are irritated, even offended by them. They feel it’s their job to discover the intent. And they like the freedom to interpret the lines as they choose. That’s fine to a point. I still use this device, albeit sparingly (same with underlining specific words I want stressed) because first and foremost I want my scene to be interpreted correctly. But like I said, I am very judicious. I never indicate (angry), (sad), or (jaundiced but insouciant).

That said, you’re probably writing your script to be READ not PERFORMED (actors hate capitol letters too.) So in the interest of having a reader better understand your script and maybe buying it, you can sprinkle in a few more parentheticals. (warning) But don’t go crazy.

Actors balk at thankless roles. The best friend, the harpy-wet blanket, the “Ralph Bellamy” boring third guy in a triangle soon to be dumped (Ralph Bellamy played this role in HIS GIRL FRIDAY and 297 other movies), and any role played by Emily Mortimer. Find a way to make these characters interesting, complex, or maybe let Ralph Bellamy get the girl.

Long speeches: Actors like ‘em and hate ‘em. They like having a big juicy emotional speech and they hate having to memorize them. Forget that human beings don’t normally speak in long speeches, if you want to give a character a big speech, fine. Don’t give him six. And give him spots to breathe.

Actors protect their characters, as well they should. Writers sometimes have the tendency to sacrifice their characters’ integrity for the sake of a big joke. I gotta side with actors on this one. Once you’ve sacrificed a character you can’t go back. Find another joke.

And finally, most actors don’t want to be seen in an unflattering light. They may voice their objections in gobs of Byzantine actor-speech, but trust me, the real issue is they don’t want to look weak, or mean, or playing the girlfriend of the Elephant Man. They can have flaws but within reason. What you need to do here is either give the characters interesting shadings, multi-dimensions (not always weak, not always giving dogs caramels to eat) or make the parts so meaty that actors suddenly would kill to play them. Villains, in particular, can be delicious, despite how hateful and cruel they are. Is there a more fun character than J.R. Ewing? Or Simon Cowell? Or my favorite champagne villain, Alan Rickman in DIE HARD?

By making a concerted effort to accommodate the actors’ needs (and most of these are just good general writing tips) you stand a much better chance that the actors will embrace your script and even add to it. Their wardrobe and make up issues? That’s someone else’s problem.

Remembering Larry Gelbart

As if 9-11 wasn't tragic enough, it was also on this date one year ago that we lost Larry Gelbart. So, if you'll indulge me, I'd like to re-post my piece on this man I so loved. In addition to everything else, he wrote beautiful eulogies. With his flair for words and wit and warmth he constructed eloquent touching tributes. I used to kid him that he had to live forever because no one else could write them as well. And now I find myself in the agonizing position of trying to write his. First off, let me say, it won’t be as good.

So rather than tell you what you probably already know – that he was the Mozart of comedy writing and recipient of every honor but the Heisman Trophy – I’ll try to share some things you might not know; some personal stories.

In many ways the hardest part of writing scripts is turning them in. Because then you have to wait. And wait. And wait. It’s a stomach churning exercise filled with angst and insecurity and flashbacks of high school. After a day you’re an utter basket case. After a week you’re confessing to crimes you didn’t even commit.

When you turned in a script to Larry at 5:30 he called you at home to say he loved it… at 6:30. The first Rolaid hadn’t even dissolved in your stomach yet. Trust me, this is unheard of. But that was Larry. Empathetic, considerate, a mensch. He was the kindest man in an industry that seriously frowns on that sort of thing. Fortunately, he had the talent to overcome it.

And despite his enormous success, he was just as human as the rest of us mere boulevard farcitiers. He arranged for house seats for my wife and I to see the original production of SLY FOX. Jacqueline Kennedy was sitting next to me. When I called the next day to thank him and tell him who was sitting on my left, he got very nervous. “Did she like it? Did she laugh? Which jokes?” He was thrilled to learn she did laugh, and I’d like to think thrilled that my wife and I laughed too but probably more Jackie. After all, she paid for her seat.

I mentioned one day in a rewrite that my favorite MASH episode was “the More I See You” with Blythe Danner guesting as Hawkeye’s former flame. A few days later I received a gift. In those days Larry used to write his scripts longhand on legal pads. He gave me a Xeroxed copy of his original first draft. And the Mozart comparison continues. There were no cross-outs. Every line was perfectly constructed. Emotion and humor flowed from speech to speech with absolute ease. How does one do that? It’s impossible! That draft (now bound) remains one of my most cherished possessions.

And by the way, he could write an entire MASH script in one night. He was incredibly fast. Stanley Donan was going to direct a movie called BLAME IT ON RIO. He was not happy with the draft his writer had ,turned in and asked Larry if as a favor, he’d read it and offer his suggestions. Larry said sure (Larry always said sure). The script was delivered to him Friday at 5:30. No, he didn’t call back with his reaction at 6:30. He waited until Monday morning. But he said he had so many problems with it that instead of just scribbling down some notes he took the liberty of REWRITING the whole screenplay himself. Unbelievable. Even Mozart didn’t compose an opera over the weekend. Larry said use what you like. Donan used every word.

A similar story: For rewrites we would dictate to our assistant, Ruth, who was lightening quick. There was a big Radar speech. Larry started pitching and was just on fire. We were in stitches. Ruth broke in, telling him to slow down. Even she couldn’t write that fast. Larry said, “Just get half” and kept going. The half she didn’t get was better than anything else on television.

Larry always sent thank you notes. Larry always dropped you a line wishing you well on your upcoming project. Larry always returned phone calls. Larry always emailed you right back. Larry even left comments on my blog. I half expect a thank you note for this essay.

His legacy will last forever. His work was timeless, universal, steeped in humanity, and brilliant. MASH will always air eight times a night, TOOTSIE and OH GOD! will forever be on your screens (be they 64” plasmas or 2” iPods), FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE FORUM, and CITY OF ANGELS will be revived as long as there are stages.

Like any screenwriter, Larry had drawers and drawers of unproduced or unsold or unfinished projects. In June he just had a reading of a pilot he conceived. Last year he mounted a play in Chicago he was shepherding to Broadway. At the time of his death he was adapting one of his films into a musical and one of his musicals into a film. So yes, he left behind an amazing body of work but still we “just got half”.

Many people who knew him felt that Hawkeye Pierce was an idealized version of Larry. I’d like to think one of his other character creations was a more accurate representation of just who he was. God.

Enjoy the work of Larry Gelbart. You will laugh until you hurt. And for those of us who were blessed to have known him, we will hurt until we laugh.

9-11 and David & Lynn Angell

This is a re-post but I will probably be re-posting it every year on this date.
9/11 affected us all, profoundly and in many cases personally. Two of my dear friends were on flight 11. David and Lynn Angell. There hasn’t been a day I haven’t thought of them, missed them, and not felt grateful that they were in my life.

David and I worked together on CHEERS, WINGS, and FRASIER (the latter two he co-created). We used to call him the “dean”. In his quiet way he was the one we always looked to for final approval of a line or a story direction. He brought a warmth and humanity to his writing that hopefully rubbed off on the rest of us “schickmeisters”. And he could be funny – sneaky funny. During long rewrite sessions he tended to be quiet. Maybe two or three times a night he’d pitch a joke – but they were always the funniest jokes of the script.

For those of you hoping to become comedy writers yourselves, let David Angell be your inspiration. Before breaking in he worked in the U.S. Army, the Pentagon, an insurance firm, an engineering company, and then when he finally moved out to L.A. he did “virtually every temp job known to man” for five years. Sometimes even the greatest talents take awhile to be recognized.

I first met David the first season of CHEERS. He came in to pitch some stories. He had been recommended after writing a good NEWHART episode. This shy quiet man who looked more like a quantum physics professor than a comedy writer, slinked into the room, mumbled through his story pitches, and we all thought, “is this the right guy? He sure doesn’t seem funny.” Still, he was given an assignment (“Pick a con…any con”) and when the script came back everyone was just blown away. He was quickly given a second assignment (“Someone single, someone blue”) and that draft came back even better. I think the first order of business for the next season was to hire David Angell on staff.

After 9/11, David’s partners Peter Casey & David Lee called me and my partner into their office. There was a FRASIER script David Angell was about to write. (It was the one where Lilith’s brother arrived in a wheelchair and became an evangelist. Michael Keaton played the part.) Peter & David asked if we would write it and for me that was a greater honor than even winning an Emmy.

David’s wife, Lynn, was also an inspiration. She devoted her life to helping others – tirelessly working on creating a children’s library and a center that serves abused children.

My heart goes out to their families. To all of the families.

I still can’t wrap my mind around it.

So tragic, so senseless, and even nine years later, so inconceivable.

What movies NOT to remake

It’s Friday Question day!!

scottmc kicks it off:

A question inspired by a NY Times article on the remake of 'Arthur', starring Russell Brand and Helen Mirren. Hopefully this won't misfire like 'The In-Laws', but it isn't promising. My question: what two or three movie comedies would you least like to see remade?

Well, first of all – ARTHUR. Making that movie without Steve Gordon’s brilliant script is like buying a Rolls Royce with a Kia engine.

I’d hate to see any of Woody Allen’s early movies like TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN and BANANAS remade. Knowing Hollywood, they would probably get Michael Cera to play the Woody Allen roles. Don’t touch anything by Billy Wilder or Preston Sturgess. Keep THE GRADUATE away from Judd Apatow. Keep any comedy that doesn’t have a thousand shit jokes away from the Ferrelly Brothers.

Hollywood loves to change genders in remakes. Don’t redo TOOTSIE but with a woman.

Don’t remake any Jewish themed comedies such as HEARTBREAK KID (a vile reboot) or GOODBYE COLUMBUS and then take the Jewish element out of it.

Billy Wilder had a great line. He said, “Why remake great movies? Why not remake movies that didn’t work and do them better?”

Remake the last six Kevin Smith movies.

From Doug Barry:

Shouldn't a good spec run about 20 or so pages for a show like MODERN FAMILY?

Just confused on how many pages a spec script should actually be and what's acceptable in the industry.

It depends on the show. But there’s an easy solution. Get a copy of a script for the show you wish to write. This can be accomplished in several ways. Write the show and ask if they’ll send you a script. Check on-line and see if scripts from that series are posted.

There are some Hollywood bookstores that sell scripts, usually at bargain prices.

And if you live in Manhattan, there are always two or three guys selling scripts at the entrance of Central Park. I think one of my BECKER scripts was going for $5.

Judith has a FRASIER question:

I just wondered: were there rules, formal or informal, about how episodes treated the main character, Frasier, in terms of how much the story line revolved around him, for example? Or was it just more common sense, we know who the star of the show is?

Frasier had to be integrally involved in every episode. Most of the time the stories revolved around him but not always. Martin, Roz, Daphne, and Niles could be the focal point of an episode but Frasier always had to be pivotal.

But this was not a chore since Frasier was such a great character with strong attitudes and moral positions.

And finally, from Stephen:

The subject of Saturday night TV has been brought up in this blog before, but I wanted to ask, why can other countries make it a viable night for original programming? In the UK, Saturday is by far one of the most watched nights of television. So why is the US failing on a night others thrive on in your opinion?

I’m just speculating, but US television is geared primarily to the 18-34 demographic. They’re the group most likely to go out on Saturday night. And have DVR’s and computers to watch shows whenever they want.

This is certainly a sea change from the 70s when CBS’s biggest night was Saturday. ALL IN THE FAMILY was so popular that people stayed home until it was over to go out. And the other shows that followed (MASH, MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW, BOB NEWHART SHOW, CAROL BURNETT SHOW)all finished in the top 10.

But that was even before VCR’s. Appointment television really meant something. And networks were striving to capture the largest audience they could. I’m guessing at the root of the difference between the US and UK now is that in Jolly Olde they still covet old people in their 40s.

What would you like to know? Please confine your questions to the industry and sexual advice. Thank you.